stupid questions

Stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations: 1. At the movies when you meet acquaintances/friends ... Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here? Answer:- Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.. 2. In the bus a heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt? Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again 3. At a funeral one of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people. Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you? 4. At a restaurant when you ask the waiter Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good?? Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it. 5. At a family get-together when some distant aunt meets you after years Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 6. When a friend announces her wedding and you ask... Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good? Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money. 7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call.. Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping? Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron. 8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair.. Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut? Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding...... 9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts? Answer: - No it wont. It will just bleed. 10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks... Stupid Question: - Oh, so you smoke. Answer: - Gosh, it's a miracle ............it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!