funny words

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Life is the only thing you can't get out of alive.
May your life be like toilet paper... Long and useful.
Someone said to Voltaire, "Life is hard." Voltaire replied, "Compared to what?"
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.
Today is the last day of some of your life.
Death is a once in a lifetime experience.
What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'