stupid questions

Stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations: 1. At the movies when you meet acquaintances/friends ... Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here? Answer:- Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.. 2. In the bus a heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt? Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again 3. At a funeral one of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people. Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you? 4. At a restaurant when you ask the waiter Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good?? Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it. 5. At a family get-together when some distant aunt meets you after years Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 6. When a friend announces her wedding and you ask... Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good? Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money. 7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call.. Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping? Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron. 8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair.. Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut? Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding...... 9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts? Answer: - No it wont. It will just bleed. 10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks... Stupid Question: - Oh, so you smoke. Answer: - Gosh, it's a miracle ............it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

twist ur tongue

Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep.The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooedShilly-shallied south.These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack;Sheep should sleep in a shed.

At a minute or two 'til two
Oh what to do to die today at a minute or two 'til two A thing distinctly hard to say yet harder still to do For they'll beat a tattoo at twenty to two With a rattatta tattatta tattatta too And the dragon will come when he hears the drum At a minute or two 'til two today At a minute or two 'til two.


A Box of Biscuits
A Box of BiscuitsA Box of Mixed BiscuitsAnd a Biscuit Mixer.

A Canner
A canner, exceedingly canny, one morning remarked to his granny,A canner can can Anything that he can;But a canner can't can a can can he.

A fat hen (longest one yet)
A fat henA fat hen, a couple of ducksA fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bearsA fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears, four more chairsA fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears, four more chairs, five fat frivolous femalesA fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears, four more chairs, five fat frivolous females, six simple simons sitting on a stumpA fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears, four more chairs, five fat frivolous females, six simple simons sitting on a stump, seven Simbad the sailors sailing sailing the seven seasA fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears, four more chairs, five fat frivolous females, six simple simons sitting on a stump, seven Simbad the sailors sailing sailing the seven seas, eight egotistical ecologists evaluating the earths expectancyA fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears, four more chairs, five fat frivolous females, six simple simons sitting on a stump, seven Simbad the sailors sailing sailing the seven seas, eight egotistical ecologists evaluating the earths expectancy, nine nude Nubian nymphs nimbly nibbling on gnats knuckles and nicotineA fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears, four more chairs, five fat frivolous females, six simple simons sitting on a stump, seven Simbad the sailors sailing sailing the seven seas, eight egotistical ecologists evaluating the earths expectancy, nine nude Nubian nymphs nimbly nibbling on gnats knuckles and nicotine, ten, a skunk sat on a stump, the skunk thunk the stump stunk and the stump thunk the skunk stunk so the stinking skunk got off the stinking stumpA fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears, four more chairs, five fat frivolous females, six simple simons sitting on a stump, seven Simbad the sailors sailing sailing the seven seas, eight egotistical ecologists evaluating the earths expectancy, nine nude Nubian nymphs nimbly nibbling on gnats knuckles and nicotine, ten, a skunk sat on a stump, the skunk thunk the stump stunk and the stump thunk the skunk stunk so the stinking skunk got off the stinking stump eleven if you stick a stock of liquor in your locker it is slick to put a lock upon your stock, or some joker who is quicker is gonna trick you of your liquor if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock!

Big Billy
Big Billy, who had a big belly was also a big bully.
Bob Dole
How much dough would Bob Dole doleIf Bob dole could dole dough?Bob dole would dole as much doughAs Bob Dole COULD dole,If Bob Dole could dole dough.

Betty Batter
Betty Batter had some butter,'But,' she said, 'this butter's bitter.If I bake this bitter butter,It would make my batter bitter.'Another VersionBetty Boughter bought some butterBut she said the butter's bitterIf I put it in my batterIt will make my batter bitterBut a bit of better butter will make it better than the bitter butterSo she bought a bit of better butterAnd put it in her batterAnd her batter was not bitterSo t'was Betty Boughter bought a bit if better butter and put it in herbatter and her batter was not bitter.

Canny Cannibal
How much caramel can a canny cannibal cram into a camel,if a canny cannibal can cram caramel into a camel ?
Cheeryful Charles
Cheerful Charles chose cherry chocolates for Cheri.
Doctor (Version 1)
When a doctor doctors a doctor,does the doctor doing the doctoringdoctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored ordoes the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor ?

Doctor (Version 2)
When a doctor doctors a doctor does the doctoring doctor doctor,the doctor the way the doctored doctor wants to be doctored,or does the doctoring doctor doctor the doctor,the way the doctoring doctor wants to doctor the doctor?,Here's the answer:The doctoring doctor doctors the doctor the way thedoctoring doctor wants to doctor the doctor.Not the way the doctored doctor wants to be doctored.

Good Cook
How many cuckoos could a good cook cookif a cook could cook cuckoos.
Goodie Twoshoes
Good Goodie Twoshoes took two shoes to the Goody Showshine shoe shop.
Fig Plucker
I'm not the fig plucker,but the fig plucker's son.But I'll pluck figs'til the fig plucker comes

Fuzzy Wuzzy
Fuzzy WuzzyWas a bear,Fuzzy Wuzzy Had no Hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy,Was he?!

Fresh Fish
Do you like fresh fish?It's just fine at Finney's Diner.Finney also has some fresher fishthat's fresher and much finer.But his best fish is his freshest fishand Finney says with pride,"The finest fish at Finney's ismy freshest fish, French-fried!"SO...don't order the fresh or the fresher fish.At Finney's, if you're wise, you'll say,"Fetch me the finest, French-fried freshestfish that Finney fries!"Dr. Seuss' book, "Oh say can you say"Copyright 1979, Theodore S. Geisel and Audrey S. Geisel

Fly and a Flea
A fly and a flea in a flueWere imprisoned, so what could they do?"Let us fly," said the flea"Let us flee,"said the flySo they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Felt Hat
Is that a felt hat your wearing ,thats incredibleI've fealt some felt hats before but of all the felt hats I've ever fealtI've never fealt a felt hat like that felt hat fealt.

I saw Esau
I saw Esau kissing Kate,And Kate saw I saw Esau,And Esau saw that I saw Kate,And Kate saw I saw Esau saw.


To sit in solemn silence on a dull dark dock In a pestilential prison with a lifelong lock Awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block.

Mrs. Smith
Mrs. Smith's Fish Sauce Shop

Mrs. Puggy Wuggy
Mrs. Puggy Wuggy has a square cut puntNot a punt cut squareJust a square cut puntIt's round in the stern and blunt in the frontMrs. Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt

Manager of the Menagerie
'The Manager of the MenagerieImagined he was a manager of an imaginary Menagerie'.

Mrs Hunt
Mrs Hunt had a country cut front in the front of her country cut pettycoat

Mr. See's Saw
Mr. See had a sawand Mr. Soar owned a seesawNow See's saw sawed Soar's seesawbefore Soar saw See

try to say faster

Bettty Botter bought a bit of butter, but the bit of butter was bitter. So Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter to make the bit of bitter butter, better.
"Can you can a canned can into an uncanned can like a canner can can a canned can into an uncanned can?"

"Can you can a canned can into an uncanned can like a canner can can a canned can into an uncanned can?"

Bettty Botter bought a bit of butter, but the bit of butter was bitter. So Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter to make the bit of bitter butter, better.

Hello every body today i am not writing so much because today is so boring
today have no class no friends
"My only wealth is in whole world it is my wonderful friends",
any body wants my friendship please keep in touch.
this is the one of the contacting or communicating technique.
this is very good example of modern technology.
byeeeeeeee
Yours Srinaika......

keep smile

Always keep in mind .................. KEEP SMILING ALWAYS IT IMPROVES FACE VALUE..! "Tension nahi lene ka , bindaas jeene ka ,.......:-) " The moment you are in TENSIONYou will lose your ATTENTION Then you are in total CONFUSION and you'll feel IRRITATION This may spoil your personal RELATIONS Ultimately, you won't get COOPERATION And get things into COMPLICATIONThen you may raise CAUTION. And you have to take MEDICATION Why not try understanding the SITUATION And try to think about the SOLUTION Many problems will be solved by DISCUSSION Which will work out better in your PROFESSION Don't think this is a free SUGGESTION It is only for your PREVENTION If you understand my INTENTION You'll never come again into TENSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!KEEP SMILING ALWAYS your's srinaika....

good morning

Hi,

This is one of the cutest and nicest emails around....happy friends week !! Happy National Friendship Week. Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart. Anger is only one letter short of danger. Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. He, who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more; He, who loses faith, loses all. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. Friends, you and me .... You brought another friend. And then there were 3 .... We started our group ..... Our circle of friends .. There is no beginning .... There is no end ... Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care .... Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
yours naika.